The Most Unhinged Wedding Planning Tips (That Actually Work), According to a Therapist 

When most people picture wedding planning, they imagine Pinterest boards, cake tastings and color palettes. But anyone who’s actually gone through it knows it can feel more like navigating a maze while juggling flaming swords. And that kind of chaos needs some upfront, non-frou frou advice. Some of the best wedding planning advice isn’t the picture-perfect kind. It’s the stuff that sounds slightly off the rails until it saves your sanity. So here they are: the most unhinged (yet strangely effective) wedding planning tips, straight from a therapist. 

Schedule Weekly “No Wedding Talk” Time

That’s right — ban wedding talk.

Planning a wedding can easily take over your entire relationship. Before you know it, your evenings go from cuddles and cocktails to vendor quotes and seating charts. One of the best things you can do for your connection (and your cortisol levels) is to schedule intentional “wedding-free” time every week.

Go on a date, watch trash TV or do literally anything besides talking about your big day. Protecting your sense of normal during this intense season will help you avoid burnout — and remind you why you’re getting married in the first place.

Assign Each Other a Stress “Code Word”

Pick a silly word — like “pineapple,” “defcon” or “Taylor Swift” — that you can say when you notice the other person spiraling, or just stressing you out in a time you’re not prepared to have wedding stress. 

This is a secret signal between the two of you that it’s time to step back, take a breath or regroup. It might sound ridiculous, but giving yourselves a non-threatening cue to check your stress response is both neuroscience-backed and surprisingly endearing. Plus, the sillier the word, the faster the tension is immediately cut in half. 

Marie Kondo Your Feed

If it doesn’t bring you joy, yeet it.

This is your permission slip to unsubscribe from that influencer with the $200,000 floral budget, gifted designer gowns and perfect friend group who has planned all her events for her. 

Comparison is a thief of joy, and it’s also a massive source of pressure. Your wedding is not a competition or a performance. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the aesthetic overload, it’s time to give your feed the chop, even if it’s temporary. 

Plan for the “After,” Not Just the Aisle

It’s easy to pour all your energy into planning the day and completely forget about the transition into married life.

Set up a few rituals or routines that begin after the wedding: a “just us” dinner the day after, a monthly relationship check-in or even planning your first married argument as a funny hypothetical.

Looking forward beyond the event helps shift your mindset from perfectionism to partnership.

Make a “Not-To-Do” List

Everyone talks about the to-do list. But have you made a not-to-do list?

This might include things like “don’t do any wedding planning after 6 p.m,” or “don’t make decisions out of guilt,” or even “don’t read Reddit wedding horror stories.”

Getting clear on what doesn’t serve you in the planning process is as important as the to-do’s. Boundaries are your best friend here.

Write a “Why We’re Doing This” Letter

In the whirlwind of planning, it’s easy to lose the plot. I encourage every couple to write a short letter to each other (or even to themselves) about why they’re getting married.

It can be funny, cheesy and messy, but it’s grounding. Tuck it into your wedding folder, or keep it in your phone notes. Pull it out on hard days, vendor-call meltdowns or those “what have we gotten ourselves into?” moments.

Your wedding is a moment. Your marriage is a lifetime. Keep your eyes (and heart) on that bigger picture.

Final Thoughts on Wedding Planning Tips

Embrace the chaos, but protect your peace.

Wedding planning is supposed to be exciting. But that doesn’t mean it’s always smooth. Some of the most effective ways to stay grounded are the ones that feel counterintuitive — or even downright silly.

As a therapist who’s supported countless couples, I can tell you this: the couples who thrive aren’t the ones who avoided all the stress. They’re the ones who learned how to move through it together. It takes humor, flexibility and a deep commitment to keeping the main thing the main thing.

So dodge drama with a “pineapple” safe word, ban wedding talk on Thursdays or ditch unrealistic social media expectations. Remember: the unhinged tips might just be the ones that save your sanity — and strengthen your connection.

And that’s the kind of wedding advice I’ll always stand by.

The MIND Performance Therapist, Lindsey Paoli, MSMFT teaches the importance of self awareness and interpersonal relationships as a key to our greatest success and happiness. She is a Marriage and Family Therapy Intern, a corporate trainer and consultant, national expert news contributor and co-author of the bestselling book Living a Legacy. She is happily married (after a Vegas Wedding!) with two young children and has called the Vegas Valley home for nearly 20 years.